Anxiety and Sports Performance: How Parents Can Support Mental Health in Elite Sports
- Kelly McCullough, LCSW
- Aug 18
- 5 min read
“She used to love her sport—now she dreads every practice.”
“My teen just can't seem to keep up with all her work now that tennis season has picked up.”
“He wants to quit, but he’s worked so hard to make varsity.”
If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. As a therapist working with high-achieving families across San Diego, La Jolla, and Carmel Valley, I often hear from parents whose talented kids and teens are silently struggling under the pressure of elite-level sports.
These teens aren’t necessarily chasing athletic scholarships—they’re driven students building strong résumés for competitive colleges. They’re aiming for varsity, trying out for club teams, juggling AP courses, and spending weekends traveling for tournaments.
While these kids are often motivated and gifted, the mental health toll of balancing high-pressure sports, academic expectations, and family stress is real—and growing. In this blog, I’ll walk you through the signs of sports performance anxiety, why it’s so common among this population, and how parents can support their child’s mental and emotional well-being—without sacrificing performance.
Why Teens in Elite Sports Develop Anxiety—Even When They’re Excelling
Today’s student-athletes are under enormous pressure. Starting as young as 10 years old, many kids begin training year-round for competitive club teams and varsity rosters. Most of the kids and teens I see are not hunting for a college sports scholarship, but are seeking to beef up their college resume. And in today's highly competitive college application process, creating a well-rounded profile doesn't feel optional.
For high-achieving families in areas like Carmel Valley and La Jolla, elite sports are often part of a broader college-prep path. But this performance culture can contribute to chronic anxiety, perfectionism, and emotional burnout in teens.
Common sources of stress include:
The pressure to make varsity or a top club team
Time constraints from travel teams that affect family routines
Fear of failure or “letting down” parents and coaches
Balancing AP classes, sports, and other extracurriculars
Lack of unstructured time to rest or decompress
Anxiety in teen athletes isn’t about weakness—it’s about overload. And the effects can be just as intense as physical injury.
Signs Your Teen Athlete May Be Struggling With Anxiety
Even if your teen is still “doing well,” anxiety can show up in subtle ways.
Watch for signs like:
Trouble falling asleep before games or tryouts
Recurring stomachaches, headaches, or fatigue
Emotional outbursts, irritability, or mood swings after practice
Perfectionism: obsessing over stats, scores, or self-criticism
Reluctance to attend practice or tryouts
Expressing a desire to quit, despite past passion
In therapy, I often hear teens say, “I don’t want to disappoint anyone.” That fear alone can keep them stuck in cycles of overachievement and exhaustion—until they hit a wall.
Parents, you play a crucial role in assisting your child or teen with managing sports performance anxiety. Continue reading to discover how you can support your child or teen.
1. Validate Their Stress Without Judging Their Performance
Teens who are used to being “the best” often feel intense shame or panic when they’re not performing perfectly. As a parent, one of the most powerful things you can do is normalize these feelings and take the pressure down a notch.
Try saying:
“It makes sense that you feel overwhelmed. You’ve got a lot on your plate.”
“I care more about how you’re doing than how you're performing.”
“You’re allowed to love your sport and feel stressed by it at the same time.”
Validation doesn’t mean lowering standards—it means reminding your child that mental health matters, too.
2. Shift the Focus From Outcome to Effort
High-achieving teens often tie their worth to their outcomes: Did I make the cut? Did I score enough? Did I impress the coach?
This creates a perfectionistic mindset that fuels anxiety.
As a parent, help your teen reframe success:
Focus on effort: “I noticed how hard you worked today.”
Highlight growth: “You’ve come so far since last season.”
De-emphasize rankings: “Your progress matters more than your placement.”
This mindset helps reduce pressure and build emotional resilience—something every athlete needs.
3. Be Mindful of Family-Wide Stress From Club Sport Competitions
Parents often ask: “Why is my younger child acting out on weekends?” or “Why do I feel so resentful every time there’s another tournament?”
Weekend travel teams and late-night practices don’t just impact the athlete—they affect the entire family.
If you’re noticing:
Sibling jealousy or behavioral issues
Parent burnout from driving, planning, or missed time together
Family friction about time or priorities
…it’s time to pause and ask: Is this schedule sustainable? How do we protect time for family connection and rest?
Supporting your teen’s athletic goals is important—but protecting family well-being matters too.
4. Encourage Rest as Part of Performance, Not the Opposite of It
Elite athletes often internalize the idea that more is always better: more training, more reps, more hours in the gym. Your teen may be operating under the false belief that more time on the field directly equates with better performance. But mental and physical recovery are essential parts of long-term success.
Help your teen reframe rest:
Schedule one rest day a week and protect it
Support other interests beyond sports (music, art, time with friends)
Encourage early bedtimes before big meets or tournaments
Normalize breaks during the off-season—or even a mental health day
Emphasize the importance of a feasible schedule—a reduced class load to compensate for a more rigorous training schedule (or vice versa)
As a teen therapist, I often remind athletes: Your brain is your biggest asset. Take care of it the same way you take care of your body.
5. Consider Therapy for Teen Athlete Anxiety
If your child is showing signs of burnout, panic, or avoidance around their sport, it may be time to bring in support.
Therapy for teen athletes can help them:
Learn tools to manage performance anxiety
Address perfectionism and self-criticism
Build emotional regulation and resilience
Reconnect with why they started their sport in the first place
At La Jolla Therapy Center, we specialize in working with high-achieving kids, teens, and families in San Diego, Carmel Valley, and La Jolla. We understand the unique pressures your child faces—and we provide practical, evidence-based support to help them thrive.
Final Thoughts: Your Teen’s Mental Health Matters as Much as Their Performance
Elite sports can offer teens confidence, community, and character—but not if they’re quietly suffering from anxiety and burnout.
If your child is showing signs of stress, avoidance, or emotional fatigue, remember: the goal isn’t to just push harder. It's to get curious, offer support, and encourage a balanced life full of both effort and relaxation. Rest and recovery are vital ingredients for resiliency.
Our San Diego, California based counseling practice specializes in helping teens and adults who struggle with anxiety. Through counseling, we help kids and young adults overcome the negative thought cycles, the constant comparison game, and worst-case scenarios that accompany the anxious brain. Additionally, we offer other mental health services, primarily for perfectionists, overachievers or others who don’t feel like they 100% fit in. More specifically we offer treatment for anxiety/OCD, and depression at La Jolla Therapy Center. If you don’t live around San Diego or the commute makes in-person therapy impossible, all of our services are available via online therapy to anyone physically located in California. Therefore, we work with clients from Sacramento to Palo Alto or even Mountain View. You and your family deserve to finally feel less overwhelmed. Get started today by scheduling your free phone consultation with a member of our team here.
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