How to Help Your Child with Test Anxiety: A Guide for Parents

Does your child seem nervous before a big test—complaining of stomachaches, asking repeated “what if” questions, or feeling overwhelmed no matter how much they prepare? If so, they may be experiencing test anxiety, a common form of performance anxiety in children and teens.

As a parent, it’s difficult to see your child stressed and unsure how to help. The good news? There are simple, supportive strategies you can use to help your child feel more confident, in control, and prepared for test day—and beyond.

What Is Test Anxiety?

Test anxiety is a type of performance anxiety that shows up before or during exams. It can affect kids physically (headaches, stomachaches), emotionally (irritability, fear of failure), and mentally (blanking out or racing thoughts). For some children, this anxiety can feel overwhelming—even if they’ve studied.

Test anxiety often stems from fear of not doing well, high expectations (from themselves or others), or past experiences of struggling. But with the right tools and encouragement, your child can learn how to manage these big feelings and show up to tests feeling calmer and more equipped.

8 Ways Parents Can Support a Child with Test Anxiety

1. Create a Safe Space to Talk About It

Let your child know it’s okay to feel nervous. Encourage open conversations by asking how they’re feeling about an upcoming test and truly listening. Avoid minimizing their experience (“It’s just a test”) and instead offer validating language like, “I understand why you’re feeling anxious—tests can be stressful, even for adults.”

When children feel heard, they’re more likely to open up and less likely to internalize stress.

2. Teach Simple Relaxation Techniques

Managing anxiety starts with calming the body. Practice easy techniques together so they become familiar tools your child can use during moments of stress:

• Deep Breathing: Inhale for 4 counts, hold for 4, exhale for 4.

• Progressive Muscle Relaxation: Tense and release muscle groups from toes to head.

• Visualization: Imagine a calm, happy place like the beach or their favorite cozy spot.

Try practicing these before bed, on the way to school, or during homework time. Regular practice makes them more effective.

3. Focus on Preparation, Not Perfection

Cramming can make anxiety worse. Help your child build a steady, realistic study plan leading up to the test. Break material into smaller parts and set mini goals like:

• “Practice 5 spelling words today.”

• “Review flashcards for 15 minutes.”

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Short study bursts (20–30 minutes) with breaks are better than long, draining sessions. Remind your child that their effort matters more than a perfect score.

4. Model a Calm Attitude Toward Tests

Kids often absorb our energy. When you speak about tests calmly and confidently, they’re more likely to do the same. Reassure them that tests are just one part of learning—and not a measure of their worth.

You might even share your own stories of feeling nervous before a test and how you handled it, showing them that stress can be managed with the right tools.

5. Praise the Effort, Not Just the Outcome

Instead of asking, “What score did you get?” ask, “What part of the test are you proud of?” This shift helps reduce pressure and encourages a growth mindset—the belief that abilities improve through practice and effort.

Celebrate your child’s hard work, persistence, and problem-solving skills. This helps them feel more motivated and resilient.

6. Use Mock Tests to Build Familiarity

Practice tests at home can help reduce fear of the unknown. Set up a calm space with a timer and recreate test-like conditions. This can boost your child’s confidence and reduce test-day jitters.

7. Encourage Healthy Routines

Don’t underestimate the basics. A well-rested, well-nourished body handles stress more effectively. Support your child in:

• Getting 8–10 hours of sleep

• Eating balanced meals and snacks

• Getting physical activity to release tension

  
  

Simple routines like stretching, walking, or playing outside can support both brain and body.

8. Help Reframe Negative Self-Talk

Kids with test anxiety often think things like, “I’m going to fail” or “I’m not smart enough.” Help them catch and reframe these thoughts:

• Negative: “I’ll never pass this test.”

• Reframe: “I’ve studied, and I’ll try my best. That’s all I can do.”

Over time, this practice builds emotional awareness and self-trust.

When to Seek Extra Support

If your child is regularly overwhelmed by test anxiety—avoiding schoolwork, dreading test days, or experiencing physical symptoms like headaches or stomachaches—it may be time to reach out for help.

Working with a child therapist can help uncover the root of your child’s anxiety and build emotional regulation tools that work for them. You can also collaborate with school counselors to create classroom supports or accommodations.

Final Thoughts

Supporting your child through test anxiety doesn’t mean eliminating all stress—but it does mean helping them feel seen, supported, and equipped. With your encouragement and a few calming strategies, they can face challenges with more confidence and learn coping skills that will carry into other areas of life.

Get Support for Your Child’s Anxiety

Our San Diego, California-based counseling practice specializes in helping teens and adults who struggle with anxiety. Through counseling, we help kids and young adults overcome the negative thought cycles, the constant comparison game, and worst-case scenarios that accompany the anxious brain. Additionally, we offer other mental health services, primarily for perfectionists, overachievers, or others who don’t feel like they 100% fit in. More specifically, we offer treatment for anxiety/OCD and depression at La Jolla Therapy Center. If you don’t live around San Diego or the commute makes in-person therapy impossible, all of our services are available via online therapy to anyone physically located in California. Therefore, we work with clients from Sacramento to Palo Alto or even Mountain View. You and your family deserve to finally feel less overwhelmed. Get started today by scheduling your free phone consultation with a member of our team here.