
I’ll never forget the session that humbled me as a therapist. A few years ago, I was working with a 16-year-old boy named Ethan (not his real name, of course) who had reluctantly agreed to therapy. His mom had described him as “impossible to talk to” and “glued to his phone,” so I braced myself for a tough session.
Ethan joined the call with his camera off and promptly said, “Let’s make a deal. If I can convince you that I don’t need therapy, you have to tell my mom I’m fine.”
Challenge accepted. I asked him why he thought therapy wasn’t necessary. For the next 30 minutes, he eloquently argued that his occasional anxiety about school was “normal” and that talking to a therapist was only going to “make it a big deal.” By the end, I had to admit, he’d made some solid points. But instead of agreeing to his terms, I said, “Ethan, you just spent half an hour passionately explaining yourself to me. That’s what therapy is! You’re already good at it—you just didn’t realize.”
He paused, muttered something about “reverse psychology,” and turned his camera on for the first time. From that session on, Ethan became one of my most engaged clients.
The lesson? Teenagers are brilliant in their own way, and finding the right therapist for them isn’t about forcing them into it—it’s about finding someone who can meet them where they are. So, if you’re on a mission to find an online therapist for your teen, let’s do this the smart way. And hey, we’ll keep it light because parenting a teenager is hard enough without adding extra stress.
Step 1: Understand Why Your Teen Needs Therapy
Before you start Googling, think about why you’re seeking therapy in the first place. Is your teen dealing with anxiety, depression, school stress, or social struggles? Maybe they’re struggling to manage the pressures of modern life (thanks, social media). Knowing the “why” will help you narrow down your options.
Think of it like shopping for jeans: you need the right fit, not just whatever’s on sale. And trust me, your teenager will notice if you try to cut corners.
Step 2: Research Therapists Like You’re Stalking Their Social Media
Finding the right therapist is like finding a good influencer: you want someone relatable, authentic, and knowledgeable. Here’s how to do it:
• Use platforms like Psychology Today, Headway, or Rula.
These let you filter therapists by specialization, availability, and even preferred therapy methods.
• Look for experience with teens.
If their profile talks about helping “adults navigate midlife crises,” keep scrolling.
• Check credentials.
Licensed therapists (LPC, LCSW, PsyD, LMFT) have the training to back up their advice.
Pro Tip: If the therapist mentions being fluent in “teen speak,” you’ve hit the jackpot. Bonus points if they can spell “slay” in the right context.
Step 3: Don’t Skip the Free Consultation
Most therapists offer a free or low-cost consultation. This is your chance to see if the therapist is a good fit for your teen. During this session, encourage your teen to ask questions like:
• “What’s your experience working with teenagers?”
• “How do you handle it when someone doesn’t want to open up?”
• “Are you a dog or a cat person?” (Hey, connection is everything.)
The vibe check is crucial. A great therapist will know how to put your teen at ease and won’t take it personally if they get one-word answers at first.
Step 4: Involve Your Teen in the Decision
Teenagers have a built-in resistance to anything that feels like it’s being forced on them. So, frame therapy as something they have control over. Show them profiles of therapists and let them help choose.
Yes, they might pick the one with the “coolest” photo, but that’s okay. Feeling like they have a say in the process is half the battle.
Step 5: Understand Therapy Is a Process
Once you’ve found a therapist, remind yourself (and your teen) that therapy isn’t a magic fix. The first session might feel awkward. Heck, the first few sessions might feel awkward. But over time, if it’s a good match, they’ll start to open up.
If your teen decides the therapist isn’t a good fit, listen to them. Sometimes it takes a few tries to find the right person, and that’s completely normal.
Step 6: Celebrate Small Wins
Your teen might not come out of their first session saying, “Therapy is amazing! I feel so much better!” But maybe they’ll say, “It wasn’t awful.” That’s progress. Celebrate it.
Over time, therapy can help your teenager develop coping skills, build confidence, and learn how to navigate the challenges of adolescence. And that’s worth every awkward consultation and eye roll along the way.
A Final Note to Parents
Parenting a teenager is like trying to assemble IKEA furniture without the instructions—frustrating, confusing, and occasionally involving tears. But finding the right therapist for your teen can make a world of difference.
And if you ever feel overwhelmed, just remember Ethan. The same teenager who tried to “outsmart” therapy ended up being the first to recommend it to his friends. Teens are full of surprises—and with the right support, they can surprise themselves, too.
So take a deep breath, do your research, and be patient. You’ve got this!
Our San Diego, California based counseling practice specializes in helping teens and adults who struggle with anxiety. Through counseling, we help kids and young adults overcome the negative thought cycles, the constant comparison game, and worst-case scenarios that accompany the anxious brain. Additionally, we offer other mental health services, primarily for perfectionists, overachievers or others who don’t feel like they 100% fit in. More specifically we offer treatment for anxiety/OCD, and depression at La Jolla Therapy Center. If you don’t live around San Diego or the commute makes in-person therapy impossible, all of our services are available via online therapy to anyone physically located in California. Therefore, we work with clients from Sacramento to Palo Alto or even Mountain View. You and your family deserve to finally feel less overwhelmed, so let’s get started!
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