As a parent, it’s natural to worry about your child or teen’s emotional well-being. Sometimes, this worry can lead to the recognition of an important underlying issue: anxiety. Anxiety is the most common mental health concern in children and teenagers, but identifying it early can be tricky. Kids often have a hard time expressing what they are feeling, especially if they don’t fully understand it themselves. So how can you tell if your child or teen is experiencing anxiety?
Here’s a guide to help you recognize anxiety signs, the difference of how anxiety manifests in children versus teens, and when to seek professional help. Anxiety can manifest differently in children and teenagers, although there are overlapping symptoms.
Anxiety warning signs and symptoms in children may look like:
Physical or Somatic Complaints: Anxiety often causes physical symptoms that mimic illness. Children may often report stomachaches, headaches, or other physical discomfort without a clear medical cause.
Clinginess or trouble separating from parents: Younger children may become unusually clingy, not wanting to be separated from parents or caregivers, especially in new or unfamiliar situations, such as school, daycare, or even camp.
Meltdowns, irritability, or tantrums: Anxiety may cause frequent meltdowns. Your child may seem more sensitive, cry over small things, or experience extreme emotional outbursts, especially in response to changes, stressors, or overwhelming situations.
Sleep Disturbances: Difficulty falling asleep, nightmares, or waking up frequently throughout the night.
Avoidance Behavior: Younger children may avoid school, social activities, or things they used to enjoy by showing fear or reluctance to engage.
Over-eagerness to Please: Some children with anxiety may be overly concerned with being “perfect” or trying to please adults.
Restlessness or fidgeting: Anxiety can make it hard for kids to sit still. They may be jittery or appear on edge.
Frequent Worry: Children may communicate or express fears, such as worrying excessively about getting lost, about family members being hurt, or general safety concerns.
Difficulty concentrating: Anxiety can make it difficult to focus and stay on task. Frequent distractability and inability to focus on tasks may also be a warning sign.
Regression: Younger children may revert to earlier developmental behaviors like thumb-sucking or bed-wetting.
Anxiety warning signs and symptoms are often mistaken for “typical teenage behavior,” however anxiety in teens may look like:
Withdrawal and Isolation: Teenagers often withdraw from friends and family or avoid social situations, which may be mistaken for typical teenage behavior.
Avoidance of school or social activities: Teens may skip school, avoid social gatherings, or make excuses to stay home.
Perfectionism and Fear of Failure: Teenagers may become obsessed with academic performance or personal achievements, driven by a fear of failure. Teens may set high and unrealistic expectations for themselves regarding performance, including feelings of inadequacy and disappointment for any less than perfect grades.
Irritability and Mood Swings: Increased irritability, frustration, quick to anger or mood swings, which are often more pronounced than typical teenage emotional changes.
Substance Use: In some cases, teens might experiment with drugs or alcohol to cope with their anxiety. Teens may purposefully use drugs or alcohol prior to attending a social event as a means of self-medicating social anxiety.
Restlessness and Trouble Focusing: Anxiety may lead to difficulty focusing in school or work, restlessness, declining academic performance, and feeling overwhelmed by responsibilities.
Sleep and Eating Problems: Disrupted sleep patterns including difficulty falling asleep, staying asleep, or sleeping too much or changes in eating habits, such as an increase or decrease in appetite are common.
Negative Self-Talk: Teens might experience heightened self-criticism, negative thinking, or catastrophizing situations.
Panic Attacks: Some teenagers may experience sudden episodes of intense fear, heart palpitations, chest pain, or difficulty breathing, known as panic attacks.
Increased Screen Time: Teenagers may depend on electronic devices to distract from anxiety symptoms they are experiencing. Teenagers may also use digital communication as a replacement for in-person socialization, as they may find it less anxiety provoking. This can then lead to conflict with parents surrounding screen time limits and rules.
How Do I Know When to Get Professional Help for My Child/Teen Dealing with Anxiety?
Some level of anxiety is normal and can actually be effective at motivating us to take action. However, it is important to know when to seek professional help or intervention. Some warnings signs or indicators that it may be time to get a therapist involved for support are:
Persistent and Excessive Worry: If your child or teen is experiencing frequent and overwhelming worry or fear that seems disproportionate to the situation and lasts for weeks or months.
Physical Symptoms: Frequent complaints of physical symptoms with no apparent medical cause including headaches, stomachaches, and feeling sick.
Sleep Problems: Disruptions in sleep patterns related to fears or worries that last for several weeks.
Consistent Avoidance: Your child or teen is regularly avoiding activities such as school, social activities, or things they used to enjoy.
Anxiety Affects Daily Life: Fears or worries are beginning to interfere with their ability to function at school, at home, or in social settings.
Emotional Outbursts: Increasing and frequent temper tantrums, irritability, or verbal aggression in response to feeling overwhelmed or worried.
Safety Concerns: If your child or teen expresses thoughts of harming themselves, harming others, or not wanting to live anymore.
If your child or teen is struggling with anxiety, professional help is available. Anxiety is very treatable, and typically responds well to evidence-based treatments. When searching for professional support, look for treatment that includes cognitive-behavioral therapy, relaxation training, and parent training. Parenting is hard; you don’t have to do it alone.
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